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Finally......

Finally something that has needed to be talked about and addressed in main stream media is getting the airtime it needs - Suicide and Mental Health are such a big issue here in NZ and yet still considered dirty words and not to be talked about topics, swept under the rug kept behind closed doors. Why is that when someone is having a hard time the feel ashamed to admit it? Myself included. Why is it that it's considered weak to feel like life is too much and so we pretend we are ok plastering on a fake smile and posting only the good parts of our lives on social media? But really on the inside we are dying and crying and just want to feel understood. Want to feel accepted and loved. Don't want to be a burden, don't want to come across ungrateful. I am guilty of all of the above hiding my darkness from everyone even my husband, either putting on a smile or hiding from the world. It's not there all the time and some times when it does come there is absolutely no apparent reason it just swoops in and takes a hold, its darkness seeping into every area of my brain, my soul, my heart, my being. I'm still capable of maintaining life usually and I throw myself into work and keep myself busy to make it through to the other side of the darkness. Having lost several people to suicide the devastating effect it has is life changing, the grief is like nothing else, the damage it causes is consuming - it changes those left behind. It's not the answer and yet to some of us it feels that way and feels like it's the best option, what a horrible place to be in that you really feel there is no place for you on this earth, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, that loneliness

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