Suicide

Suicide.

It’s one of those words that makes your heart feel heavy.

It carries a lot of weight.

It’s so final.

It carries a lot of grief with it.

It carries a life time of what ifs.

It’s the ending of life as you know it.

It brings the turning upside down of one’s world with it.

It’s a different kind of loss than illness or accident.

Once you have experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide you become part of the club.

A club no one wants to join.

But it’s becoming less exclusive.

Members are joining daily when they would do anything to not.

They would give any amount of time.

Any amount of love and support.

Any amount of listening.

Just to not join the club.

Some of you might never understand how someone can take their life.

You might even call it selfish.

I understand though, I’ve been there. More than once. Not seeing a light at the end of the black tunnel.

Not seeing a way out of the dark well I had fallen into.

Not through my own choices either, but through hurt caused by others.

Rejection. Abuse. Manipulation.

The words and actions of others broke me.

I felt like the world was too cruel a place for me.

I felt like I didn’t belong.

All I’ve ever wanted is to feel loved, to feel seen, to feel accepted as I am.

To feel enough.

But that’s not what’s been given to me.

Time and time again I’ve been given challenges.

I’ve been given rejection.

I’ve been given abuse.

To learn to stand strong in the midst of it all has been very tough.

But I’ve found my strength, I’ve found a peace that can’t be taken away.

Regardless of how hard things are and have been I have found a way to keep rising to the challenge.

I accept that life is not always going to be easy.

I’ve learnt to dance in the rain, embrace the storms and enjoy the sunshine when it comes.

But for those who couldn’t find that place I want to take a moment to acknowledge the intense pain they would have felt.

The loneliness, the heart break, the feeling stuck.

The no way out.

I know that feeling all too well.

I understand why they felt the way they did.

This morning on my yoga mat I took a minute to sit with the memory of those who took themselves out of this world.

I felt their pain.

I cried their tears.

I felt the loss that lingers still for their friends and families.

The empty spaces that they once occupied in our lives.

I prayed for a miracle.

No more suicides.

For those who are in the black tunnel and can’t see a way out, a way forward.

I urge you to talk.

I know it’s so cliche but please please find a safe space to share your load.

Whether it’s a friend or a therapist, find someone you can share the trials you are facing.

Someone who can light a candle in the darkness so you can find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just take it one step at a time.

I promise you will find your way out, it might take some time but be kind to yourself and give yourself that time.

Show yourself the same kindness you would show others.

Find one thing to be grateful for every day and really feel that gratitude in your heart.

Nourish yourself with good food.

Take yourself out to nature and walk, along the beach, in the bush, just out.

Breathe deeply. 4 counts in, hold, 4 counts out, hold. Repeat.

Feel the air fill your lungs.

It’s all the small things that make the difference in the end.

Small daily rituals.

YOU can create a life you love, little bit by little bit.

Start saying the words I Am The Source of Abundance over and over until you start to believe it.

We may not have the choice over what happens to us in life but we have the choice in how we deal with it.

Sending Aroha to all who are in the trenches at the moment, fighting what might be the hardest battle of their lives.

To everyone who has been there and fought their way out.

To everyone who has lost someone to the battle, the partners, the parents, the friends, the siblings, the children, the family.

To everyone who is there supporting someone they love as they are fighting.

Stay strong.

Find those moments of happiness when you can.

Find little things to be grateful for.

You are all amazing, powerful, wonderful, unique individuals who are so deserving of love, joy and peace ❤️

World Suicide Prevention Day 2025