©2018 by Michaiah Simmons-Villari.

Happiness...

April 13, 2018

 

Happiness....what is it? What does it mean? Is there such a thing as universal happiness? Or is it completely individual? When you hear the word what do you think? What do you feel? 

Its kind of ironic that we spend our lives chasing 'happiness' yet its not even an actual thing. You can't see it, its not something you can physically pick up, its a notion, its an idea or a feeling and yet there are billion dollar industries built on it! 

For me there are various forms of happiness, levels you might say, like the happiness full of butterflies you feel when you see someone you love, the happiness full of satisfaction you feel when you achieve something, the happiness full of excitement you feel when you know you have a holiday planned, the happiness you feel when you hear your favourite song or remember something nice.

There are so many forms of it yet so many people are getting more and more unhappy. What is it that is killing our happiness? Is it social media like some people suggest? Is it poor diet, alcohol and drugs? Is it that we are becoming less and less connected to the healing energy of the earth? 

How does one create happiness if it doesn't come to them naturally? I have realised that I am not a naturally happy person - I am always striving for more, working hard, trying to be better, never satisfied with where I am at.

Is that a bad thing? Yes it can be. I am naturally prone to depression, I am naturally prone to not feeling good enough or like I have achieved enough. I guess you could say I am an over achiever. I have always had a poor view of myself and have put in a huge amount of effort to get past that as its a major happiness killer. 

I have been putting more time into re-connecting with the earth. Earthing some people call it, or grounding. Meditating and trying to calm my ever racing mind and focus on the energy from the earth, the sun and the water. I really notice it when I don't do it every day now, I miss those precious moments of calm. I really think it does help my happiness levels. And yoga, I have realised I need it - at least once a week. I need it for my happiness.

Another thing that gives me so much happiness is my fur babies. I was never a dog person. I didn't see it, didn't see what dog lovers saw until we got Romeo and he stole my heart. I never knew I could love a little creature so much. Never new they could bring so much happiness. And then we got Julius - a rescue - and again I fell in love. I call them my therapy dogs. I highly suggest to anyone having a hard time especially with mental health and depression if you can get a dog and look after it properly then do! The happiness they have brought to so many people is amazing. 

Spending quality time with my husband is important for happiness in our relationship, we try to have a date night once a week where we go out for dinner and re connect. We are both so busy its too easy to fall into the trap of not spending that quality time and becoming disconnected which then leads to unhappiness.

Something else that brings me happiness is colour - but not all colour only a certain colour..... if you know me you will know what it is already.... pink. Don't ask me why but when I wear pink, when I see it, when it's around me I feel happier than when its not. I have absolutely no idea where that comes from. I have always liked pink since I can remember, I had pink hair in my teens, my first proper car was pink. I tried to not like it to no avail so have decided why fight it? 

A very obvious happiness killer is stress, however we can not completely avoid it so I do my best to not let things stress me out like they used to. Things that are outside of my control (like staff letting me down) then what is the point in letting it stress me? It wont change the situation. So I have learnt to let go of things I can not change. I will do my absolute best for everything to go smoothly to plan but when it doesn't then focus on what I can do or can change about the situation and what I can't then let it go and move on.

Work I love, work has been my saviour but I am trying to be happy when doing things other than work. Trying to be ok with just being. I turned to work in my dark times and I poured everything into my business, I focused on it, I put all my happiness into achievement and working hard. It got me through a very hard time in my life and for that I am grateful but I am having to learn to be happy doing nothing, be happy even when I don't achieve something every day, be happy just hanging with my family and friends. I was so work focused for so long I have almost forgotten how to just hang out, how to socialise with out feeling awkward but I do love to get dressed up and go out, I love having conversations with people about all sorts of things, having a laugh, meeting new and interesting people. I sometimes need to make myself get out and socialise as I can be too much of a hermit at times which is not healthy and does not contribute to my happiness.

Working out is an addiction because I 100% feel happier when I am consistently working out, keeping the endorphins flowing, keeping my body in shape. I feel better when I have a clean plant based diet and have gone vegan which has been better for my body happiness. 

So in this never ending search for the ever elusive 'Happiness' I continue to go. I continue to look for it. I continue to try and find it within myself. I continue to work on myself. Maybe one day I will find it and it will just be there within me. I do have times of happiness don't get me wrong, I have moments, I have situational happiness, but I am talking about that very innermost happiness that is just there within, without trying, without having to do anything particular or see anyone particular its just there. 

 

 

 

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